EVERYTHING THAT I COULD NEVER TELL YOU #8

D,

This will be a letter of a heartbreak.

I was about to type "so if you're happy, I suggest you skip through this." but I don't think you haven't found this yet. Or worst, you will never find it.

Lately, I have been so lonely. I don't know why, but it gets really harder especially at night when you realize you are not someone else's reason to wake up. I hardly ever think of that but since I'm getting old I'm having this kind of thoughts. What if no one will ever find me?

It doesn't help either that you don't know about my existence, I know it is absurd but.......

I guess some things are just hard to explain even if you consider yourself a writer.

To be honest, I really don't know why I'm sad.

Maybe because I need someone right now...

Maybe I need a hand to hold...

Maybe I need a shoulder to cry on...

Maybe I need a shoulder to lean on when I sleep...

Maybe I need a hug...

Maybe I need someone who will tell me that I'm pretty no matter what I wear...

Maybe I need someone who will tell me that he will always be there...

Maybe I need someone who will tell me he won't hurt me, even if we both know that he lies...

Maybe I need someone who will serenade me at night...

Maybe I need someone to call me everyday and yet say I miss you all the time...

Maybe I need someone...

Or maybe...

I just need you.

I don't know when will this stop. I don't have the slightest idea when the time comes that I wake up and you're just a distant memory. And the picture beside my bed will not be of you.

I know I'm old enough to believe that no matter what I will never ever have you, or even see you in person for that matter. But still, I am young enough to believe that something extraordinary might happen someday.

I want you to know that there are many times I tried to convince myself that I am living in a dream and that reality is already waking me up, but every time I see you it gets harder to open my eyes.

I know this is silly and all and that maybe this is just a phase young adults experience having deprived to live their teenage lives because of studies but I really, really do love you.

I have dreamed of you countless of times and I just couldn't help myself to stop thinking that all dreams that you dream twice will come true.

I'm getting really lonely.

PLEASE FIND ME.

B