Titles Are Not Necessary, Love Is.

It's scary how fast people fall in love. It's like you just saw the crinkling of his eyes when he smile and all of a sudden he's there in your thoughts. A frequent visitor of your daydreams.

Dance, Sophia. Dance As If No One Is Watching (Sophia Strange, An Excerpt)

Sophia is very much transparent. That’s what made her strange. She only feels two things: happy and sad. And one can pretty much tell her mood because she can genuinely express it. Express the only two emotions she knows without pretension.

After two weeks of constant mood changes, Luke has finally discovered that during her happy days, she’d wear something bright. Lively. Colorful. Today she wears yellow and royal blue and Luke cannot help but let out a small smile.

Today, is also the start of football season and he is quite happy to see his usual table full of his friends’ girlfriends. Jack, his closest friend stands up to pull a chair only to shake his head and mouthed, “It’s only lunch, I’ll find another table.”

Luke breathes a sigh of relief when he notices almost all tables are full. Almost. Except Sophia’s. He smiles a little and quickly shakes it off when he thought someone might be looking. She is in her happy state today. And while eating her mac and cheese, she hums a tune he’s sure she just invented.

“Mind if I take this seat? All the rest are full.” students nearby whisper in hush tones, one cheerleader stands up and links her arms around Luke’s.

“You can sit beside us. I’ll pull a chair for you. You don’t have to sit beside her.” Britanny said the last few words as if Sophia hasn’t bathed in days. Girls treat her that way. Whenever she enters the halls during her happy state girls will cringe when she pass as if they smell something bad.

Sophia smiled as if she was just told that she’s beautiful. “Go on. You can sit with her.” she said in a sing song voice.

Luke sits at Sophia’s table, “You don’t have to pull a chair for me. I’ll sit beside her.” the students who heard him stared at him agape. “It’s just lunch.” he adds and then they nod and continued eating.

When Britanny left, Luke straightened himself and smiled at Sophia. “Hi.”

“Good day.” she replies and continues to munch on her lunch.

They sit there in silence and most people will fidget when there’s silence but Luke and Sophia just sit there eating lunch, comfortable with the silence as they are comfortable in listening to the rain.

“Do you have a list?” Sophia is like that, she will all of a sudden ask a vague question hoping the one she’s asking will understand and answer her right away. He didn’t. He looks at her confused while she looks at him smiling.

“What list?” he asks finally when she didn’t further explain her question.

“A list. The things you want to do before you perish.”

“Like a bucket list?”

She didn’t answer, she just looks at him waiting for an answer. “I haven’t thought about it.” he says finally. And for a moment he was afraid he let her down. Disappointed her. And maybe after answering that she’ll think he’s nothing else but a guy who wants to be popular. She might think he’s shallow. He feels shallow. And he feels ashamed that he hasn’t thought about the things he’ll do before he dies.

“You’re the captain of the football team, right?” she asks again. This is another thing about Sophia, she easily changes the topic of conversation whenever she feels like it, leaving the previous ones unfinished.

“Yes.” he answers while trying to figure her out. But no one can figure out Sophia.

“What time do they set the sprinklers at the football field?”

He scratches his head at her question but answers anyway, “Around five in the afternoon. Why do you ask?”

She smiles at him and continues eating and it falls quiet again. The thing is, Sophia can ask a lot of questions. And whenever she asks she makes sure they answer. But Sophia doesn’t like answering questions. The questioning belongs to her. The answering not so much.

They eat in silence and when the bell rings Sophia flounces out of the cafeteria, skipping, singing, twirling around as if she won the lottery.

Hours passed with Luke trying to figure out the connection of bucket lists and sprinklers. When the final bell rang signalling the end of class he finds himself running towards the football stadium.

He rests his hands on his knees and pants as he scans the stadium for any sign of Sophia. She isn’t there. He takes another look and suddenly the sprinklers are on and she sees Sophia. Skipping. Dancing.

Students who are there to see the players practice looks at her. Some laughed. Some whispered. Some criticized her. Someone even shouted, “You are not in a freak show Sophia Strange!!!”

But she didn’t stop. She just continues to dance and laugh as the water from the sprinklers bathe her with laughter. The touch of the droplets leaving her nothing but soft hints of joy that makes her glisten under the setting sun.

He noticed the notebook propped open in one of the bench and when he bent his neck a little he saw her neat handwriting, “Sophia’s List. Dance Under The Rain As If No one is Watching. Deadline. July 9, 2012.” That’s today, he thought. And he knows it will not rain. And then after hours of thinking he finally made the connection between lists and sprinklers and that connection is Sophia. For a second, their eyes met and he cups his hands and tries calling her. “Hey! Get out! You’ll get sick!”

She continues prancing around as if she heard nothing. Luke tries again, “Aren’t you going to stop? People are already looking! They’re already calling you Sophia Strange!!”

That’s when she stops. For a while he thought she’s going to cry. But then she slowly lifts her head to him and smiles.

“Why are you smiling?” he yells at her again. The students at the stadium are now talking about something else. Almost all of them who were busy laughing at her and calling her strange found a better thing to do other than stress themselves out.

“They are calling me what?” she says as she walks near Luke, who is standing at the player’s corner.

“Sophia Strange.” this time he didn’t yell, she’s only a few feet away from him. And then she smiles again and continues dancing around singing.

“Doesn’t that bother you?” he asks again trying to get her senses together, this time the sprinklers are already off.

“Why?” she looks at him again the smile on her face never fading. “Sophia Strange sounds beautiful.”

And she danced. Pranced. Skipped. Twirled. Sang her lungs out up until the last rays of the golden sun dried her up.

Autumn and Paris

You are feeling down, I know.

Things are not going well, I know.

The dreams you thought you finally achieved came crashing down in front of you as soon as it happened, I know.

Everything you thought you knew are gone, I know.

You feel like you don't deserve anything, I know.

You feel like you lose all yourself confidence and you're acting immature, I know.

But you shouldn't feel that way all the time.

You shouldn't allow yourself to be feeling that way everyday.

You said you will travel the world.

You promised yourself you'll make your dreams come true.

And even if you don't experience it, today's autumn.

You'd love to experience autumn.

You promised yourself about Paris.

Whenever you're feeling down,

try to remember everything you promised yourself.

If ever... Remember.

If ever you feel like there was nothing left...
          Remember how much you tried to gain.
If ever you feel like you do not deserve...
          Remember every hard work you did that got you this far.
If ever you feel lost...
          Remember how you found yourself the first time you were.
If ever you feel like the whole world cannot compensate...
          Remember the fact that it doesn't only revolve around you.
If ever you feel sad...
          Remember the things that made you feel otherwise.
If ever you feel like your dreams are not coming true.
          Remember how you promised yourself of that beautiful autumn that you are yet to experience once all your dreams come true.

Dreams, Please Don't Fly Away From Me

The dreams I have seem to be drifting away from me. Everyday it takes a step farther from where I stand and I watch them go without doing anything.

I am helpless. Words are running out. All the colors I had put into words are starting to drip off of the once beautiful painting I created.

I made myself believe I was a writer....

only to realize I'm not even as good as the ones who are out there.

I made myself believe I was good....

but really, it was just rotten luck I had a book published.

Write, Silly Girl. There is Nothing You Can Do Better But Write

I highly doubted myself before about my ability to write. My ability to create a whole new world with the use of words. I have always been a story teller. I make things up in my head and at night all these tangled thoughts become my dreams. In those moments, I can dream wide awake. And then one day I started writing them. I didn't know about grammar and other technicalities, all I know is to write things as they are in my imagination. No rules. No mistakes. As long as I understand them.

And then the impossible happened and I was able to publish one of the world I created. It wasn't polished technically, but every word came from my heart. Each and every word. One thing I learned from that experience is I should study more. Learn more about technicalities and improve myself because grammar is something that shouldn't be taken for granted in writing. And I'm grateful to the people who can correct my errors because I learn from them.

I will learn.


I should learn.



This is what it takes to be a writer. :)

EVERYTHING THAT I COULD NEVER TELL YOU #5

D,

You are there. Moving. I can hear you. I can see you clearly. I can feel your touch. In that one blissful dream you are finally mine and mine alone.

Your face. Your eyes. Staring at mine.

For one moment there you existed in my world. A world that consists of just meeting you.


Come find me,
B

Take a Sad Song and Make it Better

“And I thought about how many people have loved those songs. And how many people got through a lot of bad times because of those songs. And how many people enjoyed good times with those songs. And how much those songs really mean. I think it would be great to have written one of those songs. I bet if I wrote one of them, I would be very proud. I hope the people who wrote those songs are happy. I hope they feel it’s enough. I really do because they’ve made me happy. And I’m only one person.”

—	The Perks of Being A Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky

I Find Myself Coming Back... As Always.

D,

Did you know I'm trying to write a book about you? It's ending soon. I just need to complete two more chapters and I'm done. My editor said the story stands a chance in getting published. I am working twice as hard just to finish it.

And maybe someday I can march up to you and give it. Or at least have it delivered.

And maybe when you see it you'll realize how important you are.

How much influence you have and that many people love you.


Some of them even tried writing a book about you.


B

Feeling

How does it feel like, waiting for something that will never come?

The Dream Catcher

Chase the bad dreams away,

and I hope you'd chase hatred and bitterness too.

I'm done living the life I was living...

And I'm ready for something new.

Change

D,

I've been out for so long.. maybe because I'm still trying to find what else is there to write..

or maybe I'm just delaying things because I think I know that this will not be about you anymore.

This time it will be about me and about everyone else who cared.

This will be the last post that I'll dedicate for you.

I know you will never find me.

B

When I Suddenly Ran Out Of Words

D,

Hi...

I think that's all we ever have right now.

And I'm kind of afraid I'll say goodbye next.

B

My World Stopped, Others Have Their's Moving

D,

You know what I miss the most? Being able to wake up in the morning thinking what might be in store for me for yet another day. Because lately, nothing seems to be happening anymore. I seem stuck. I've been here for so long.

I don't want this kind of life anymore.

I know I should be thankful because I have a home, a family, some food to eat. But no matter how I think that some people have it worst, I still feel the same way. Nothing helps at this point.

As for now,

I think I'm only waiting for a miracle.

B

Everything Just Goes Back To You

D,

Where have you gone?

I'm not seeing you in my dreams anymore.

보고 싶다

B

This is for the Lost Time

D,

I feel so ashamed on how quick I gave up. Reading Day 1 of 366 I've realized how soon I gave up on some things I believe on. I only reached Day 4 and it's killing me. I wish I can turn back time and continued on with what I said about "I'd tell you everyday until you do. "

I know you might have found someone as of the moment...

and I know I came to like someone else too...

but you should know,

everytime I see you...

it always feels like the first time

I saw you.

Come find me,

B

This is Just to Pass Time

Have you ever had those days when you don't feel like getting out of bed because you know exactly what life is in store for you for that day?

I have. I always have.

It is like I fell in this pit of routine and it isn't exciting anymore. Nothing really happens, you just wake up, brush your teeth, get dressed, eat and just go on with the usual and before you know it you're brushing your teeth again and dressing in your pajamas. I always do. Nothing ever happens anymore.

I know I should enjoy life and all but I don't know how. It's like I'm stuck in this everyday routine that I don't have any means to get out of it.

Oftentimes I just feel irrelevant.

Nonexistent.

Forgettable.

and during these times I just want someone to break the chain and fly me away from this nonexistent world of mine.

Because honestly, I'm losing hope.

I don't want to....

but little by little

I am....

Conclusion

I had come in to conclusion that whatever I do, you won't find me. But if ever, in the slightest chance that you do.

I'll be here...

Hopelessly waiting for you.

Day 7 of 366

D,

I thought not writing anymore will make me forget...

but the more I do not write

the more I keep on thinking...

what if...

in some vague possibility...

you are waiting for me.

B

Page 4 of 366

Today I realized how money can ruin a person.

As for me, as long as my family is with me. And as long as I know how to reach for my dreams....

money is nothing. :)

God always provides. He will be with me with money or none. <3

Page 3 of 366

D,

I don't want to live in a world where I constantly hope for things that will never happen. Even seeing you in a concert is out of reach for me now. And I don't know why I have the feeling of wanting to cry having said that.

I want to do something to be able to reach you.

But then it will be too late no matter how hard I try.

Anyeong.

B

This is Pointless

They told me I have my way with words

I told them I just gone through many difficulties while I was young.

Page 2 of 366

D,

S, K and H are here. Did you know? They are shooting a CF where I live. I could've gone there you know, took a bus and endured a 4 hour long ride just to see them. But seeing that there are already loads of people there, my chances of even seeing them are slim. Especially to someone like me who has visions as worse as old people.

Do you think I'll ever see you? Come to think of it, some of your groupmates are here and yet some of those within that radius hasn't seen them yet. And to think I was so full of hope of meeting you just yesterday.

Will you come here?

Will I meet you?

Will I be able to experience serendipity?

If not, there's still one place where I can see you.......

and probably that will be the only place where we'll talk...

And I hope tonight I'd get to say how much I wished you were here too.

See you in my dreams,

where possibilities are limitless.

<3,

B

2012

Hey D,

Do you honestly think I'm going to start New Year without telling you to find me? Hah! Fat chance. I'd tell you everyday until you do. and if I reach the 366th page without you who cares...

There's still 2013. <3

Find me,

B